“Flatline” — The inevitable result of Obamacare, when “free” health care gets too expensive. (Courtesy Wikipedia)
April 4, 2014
TO: Thomas D. Cox [address redacted]Dear Mr. Cox:
Our records indicate that you are sixty-five years of age as of your last birthday. The Office has made an examination your centralized medical and financial records, as authorized by Affordable Health Care Act regulations.
This examination indicates that you have a combination of seemingly minor medical conditions that, when looked at by a computerized statistical analysis, indicate that you may be subject to one or more serious, major health conditions. Treatment of these conditions would consume valuable health care resources that are already strained meeting the needs of your fellow Americans.
Your Social Security records indicate an extensive work history. Your credit history includes several stays at vacation and recreation sites. These observations lead the Office to find that you have lived a full and successful life, and we congratulate you on your many accomplishments.
It is the finding of this Department, with due regard for the value and potential costs of your life to the greater society, that no more than thirty days from the issuance date of this letter, you shall report to the nearest local clinic of the Office of Health Care Resource Conservation, for humane life termination.
Please bring positive identification, including a certified copy of your birth certificate, your Social Security card, and your federally-approved smart picture identification card. You should wear comfortable clothing, and leave all valuables, such as watch, wedding ring, cash and credit cards at home. If you use public transportation to get to your appointment at the clinic, your estate will be reimbursed for the expense
It is our duty to caution you against delaying your appearance at the center. Doing so will result in a warrant being issued for your arrest for contempt of government. As you may know, there is no trial afforded to anyone against whom such a warrant has been issued. All civil rights normally accorded to you by government are suspended at the time this warrant is issued, because as of the date and time of issue, you are legally deceased.
We are sure that you will make the responsible decision, and that none of the above measures will be required, saving government resources and protecting your friends and family from the personal and financial stresses of being arrested for harboring a legally-deceased federal fugitive.
Again, we thank you for your long, productive life, and we fully expect that you will cooperate in this process. Please rest assured that your remains will be disposed of in the clinic’s ultra-high-efficiency crematorium in an environmentally sound manner, with the least possible Carbon Dioxide emission.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Kathleen Sibelius
Secretary of Health and Human Services
[Note to readers — This letter hasn’t been written yet, but I expect that it will, if Obamacare doesn’t get the “mercy killing” it deserves. Thanks for reading — TC]
Center of Mass 